© Copyright – 2015 – Athletics Illustrated


Russian Athletics Federation interim President Leonid Khrushchev today announced that international middle-distance runner Tatyana Artyomova has earned a two-year sanction from international competition. She is the 95th Russian athlete so far in 2015 to be suspended for testing positive for performance enhancing drugs.

On January 21st the 53-year-old former athlete tested positive in an out of competition test that indicated high amounts of the hormone 5alpha-dihydrotestosterone (DHT). In a statement released through an interpreter she said, “I am taking the hormone to enhance a penile bloom, as I am undergoing gender reassignment protocol.”

Regardless she will be suspended from competition for two years, backdated to January 1st 1984. All performances from April 10, 1982 to January 1, 1984 will be annulled. Khrushchev said, “All earnings during that period will have to be repaid to the Russian Athletics Federation.

Artyomova competed primarily in the former USSR, former Czechoslovakia, former East Germany and the current China, during that period. She rarely won; however, was supported by the former communist Soviet government with bread and a rent Per Diem of 1 ruble as well as millions of rubles in anabolic steroids.

“I don’t even compete anymore. I am 53 years of age and am nearly a man now. This is unjust,” said the assembly line worker. She added, “It was an out of competition test, because I do not compete. I told them that and they don’t even listen.”

Between sips of vodka Khrushchev said, “We are demonstrating a zero-tolerance policy to deter other athletes from considering taking performance enhancing drugs. You cannot outrun the long arm of the law of Mother Russia, chert poberi!” (Loosely translated: Darn it all).

Artyomova was one of hundreds of young female Soviet athletes that were required to take pills that Soviet coaches told them were vitamins and minerals, yet were actually powerful anabolic steroids. She is undergoing a sex change to complete the gender reassignment process that was unwittingly started by a state-run regimen of anabolic steroids. The anabolic steroids partially changed her gender during her competitive years. At that time, she took to wearing baggy shorts, which was a red flag, dead giveaway.

“The only reason I am getting gender reassignment is because the government forced steroids on me that started the process anyway. They lied about what they were giving me. Now they are suspending me from competition at an age and state of being where I cannot compete anyway, this is ridiculous. The great Nabokov could not weave such a bumbling story of stupidity.”

Artyomova will change her name to Bruechev Chennerov.

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